y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
