Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
