i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
