once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
