Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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