He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
