I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
