I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
