Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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