you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
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