How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
