Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
