I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
