First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize