the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
