Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
