Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
