A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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