my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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