Just fell off a train. Bad.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize