He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize