I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I would fuck him just for his dog
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
