If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
