make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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