the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
