my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
