i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Couch. On fire.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
