"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
