anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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