Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
