when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
