I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
