Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
organizing the empties. That sober.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize