some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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