I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
