My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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