He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
