I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
