i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
it's not cheating when I paid for it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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