I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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