He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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