It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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