Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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