Where are you?
In a non slutty way
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
