dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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