I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
