I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize