i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
