Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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