Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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