i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
