You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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