I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
