i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
