Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
