i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
