That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
