We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
