Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
