I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Redeem this text for a blowjob
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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