My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
