The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize