Walk of Shame. In a state park.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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