Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
