honey bunches of taint.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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