Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
