I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
