I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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