All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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