The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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