Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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